Thought we could do with a bit of laugh.
God visited a man and told him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into heaven.
The man said he would try his best.
God visited the man a week later to see how he was getting on.
"Not bad" said the man, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when the wife bent over the lounge suite and I caught sight of her long slender legs, I pulled her skirt up, pulled her knickers to one side and made love to her right then and there. ".
"They don't like that in heaven", said God....
The man replied:
"They're not too happy about it in Harvey Norman either!"
And:
SEX AFTER DEATH!!
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and ... inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
" Marion .... Marion... "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again".
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"
"No -- I'm a rabbit somewhere near Mildura.”
