A cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the lady behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, he cranked down his window, turned on his siren and yells, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," she yelled back over the sound of the siren,
It's a SCARF!"
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A young boy had a job bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store decided to install a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.
The young lad was most intrigued by this machine, and he asked if he could be allowed to work the machine.
The manager refused, but the youngster couldn't understand why not.
The store manager explained it to him:
"Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."
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There are reports of a new problem in Australia. Some of the kangaroos have developed a thirst for revenge against the traffic that keeps knocking them down.
Drivers have reported that they'll pass a herd of roos that are hopping along peacefully, but as soon as they've passed them, the roos suddenly change direction, and veer right towards the vehicle.
The driver then has to drive as quickly as possible to escape the rampaging marsupials.
Drivers are being urged to keep an eye on their veer-roo mirror at all times.
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I was driving to the office one morning, when I got a phone call from my boss.
"You've been promoted" he said, "from admin assistant to team leader" and I was so surprised that I swerved.
A few minutes later, I got another call.
"You've been promoted" he said, "from team leader to assistant section manager" and I was so surprised that I swerved again.
A few minutes later, I got another call.
"You've been promoted" he said, "from assistant section manager to section manager" and I was so surprised that I swerved yet again.
Later I got a fourth call. "You've been made State Manager". And I swerved again and ran into a tree.
In SA Parliament today, Democrats senator Sandra Kanck challenged the ridiculous euthenasia laws by committing instructions for painless suicide to hansard. Her aim was to allow those who were in immense pain and distress access to the information, as hansard cannot be censored. It is at moments like this that I am glad for the work of such forward thinking people.
Koala wrote:
There are reports of a new problem in Australia. Some of the kangaroos have developed a thirst for revenge against the traffic that keeps knocking them down.
Drivers have reported that they'll pass a herd of roos that are hopping along peacefully, but as soon as they've passed them, the roos suddenly change direction, and veer right towards the vehicle.
The driver then has to drive as quickly as possible to escape the rampaging marsupials.
Drivers are being urged to keep an eye on their veer-roo mirror at all times.
lol nice
